I’m dreaming of an imperfect Christmas

As we all know this time of year can be stressful, not least because the list of ingredients for the ‘perfect Christmas’ seems to get longer each year. Advertisers persuade us of the need for ‘table gifts’, Christmas pyjamas, dog advent calendars and more! Our time and energy can be consumed in curating this image of perfection, leaving us depleted and unable to enjoy the simple pleasures of being with loved ones over the holidays.

Research shows a significant increase in perfectionism since the 1980s in three forms, each of which are much in evidence at this time of year:

  • Self-oriented perfectionism: where we link our self-worth to achievements and are unable to feel lasting satisfaction from those achievements.
  • Socially prescribed perfectionism: perceiving that perfection is demanded in our immediate social environment and through broader cultural values.
  • Perfectionism directed towards others.

A recent study commissioned by the Wellcome shows that in chronic form, perfectionism is linked to depression and anxiety. Therapeutically, debilitating perfectionism can be alleviated through re-evaluating goals, recognising the value of mistakes and broadening self-worth through a focus on more than just achievements.

Engineering some imperfection into your festive season can bring unanticipated joy. Why not try:

  • Delegating Christmas tree decorating to younger members of the household. It can bring weird and wonderful results with a lot of fun along the way.
  • Ask other family members to take on a Christmas-related task (gift-wrapping meister, Boxing-day walk organiser). This can create new traditions that are unique and meaningful.
  • Borrowing (and adapting) Coco Chanel’s advice; before you launch into the festive season, try to take one or two things off your to-do list.

Wishing you a happy, imperfect Christmas!

 

 

 

Source: The Wellcome (2021) What science has shown can help young people with anxiety and depression: Identifying and reviewing the ‘active ingredients’ of effective interventions. October 2021. https://tinyurl.com/2fnkjv7v

Stress: What happens in the brain?

A recent YouGov survey reports that 1 in 5 people feel unable to manage stress at work. The research shows that lack of mental health awareness and access to support services are significant aspects of the problem.

Stress is an important communication between mind and body which directs attention and response to threats in our environment. This happens at a subconscious level. The amygdala (a small almond-shaped region of the brain) acts as an alarm system, sending out a distress signal to other brain regions when a threat is perceived. The brain’s hypothalamus responds and hits the accelerator, metaphorically speaking. It triggers an increase in adrenaline which we need for speed, strength, and alertness; and of cortisol, which we need to sustain this physiological state for the duration of the threat. This ‘fight-flight-freeze’ response is vital in protecting us from physical danger.

This stress response is an asset in unpredictable environments and cannot be eliminated entirely. Too little stress would lead to apathy and inability to deal with immediate problems. In the short term, stress boosts motivation and enhances our ability to deal with urgent tasks. When our body is in threat-response mode, however, other important bodily functions co-ordinated by the brain are de-prioritised such as digestion and cell repair. Therefore prolonged activation of the stress response can impair the immune system and have a negative impact on our physical and mental health.

We have had many additional stressors recently such as health concerns, caring responsibilities, job insecurity, financial worries and social isolation. Another stressor is our own thinking. An accidental scientific discovery in 2007 showed that our brains are more active in quiet moments than when we are involved in goal-oriented activity. This ‘default mode network’ our brain is involved in inner-rehearsal (like daydreaming) which can be creative and productive. However, when we are stressed or anxious our imagination can go into overdrive, thinking of all the things that might go wrong.

Neuroscientific research studies show that physical and psychological threats are processed in a similar way and prolonged physical or psychological stress produces functional and anatomical changes in the brain. When chronically stressed the amygdala becomes enlarged and we literally devote more brain space to threat perception and response. The communications machinery of the amygdala ramps up so that this alarm system becomes more sensitive which can create a vicious cycle. The good news is that these changes to the brain are largely reversible.

Sleep provides a natural mechanism for alleviating stress. Neuroscientist Matthew Walker describes sleep as overnight therapy with good reason. During the REM phase of sleep stress chemicals drop away and the brain can process and recalibrate our emotional responses to the stressors we experience each day. However, during periods of prolonged stress our sleep patterns are disrupted, and we are unable to process everything in our ‘inbox’. This can reduce our stress tolerance threshold.

Therapeutic support can help in developing resilience to stressors. Dr Olivia Remes is Programme Director of Leading Mental Health in the Workplace at the University of Cambridge. Her research explores how people living in severe stress-provoking situations respond in different ways. A key factor which distinguishes adverse and resilient responses is the range of coping strategies and sense of coherence people have and social support is a big factor in this.

It is important to be aware of how stress affects the brain and body and of the support that is available. There are many good online resources and support services available. Mental Health UK and Anxiety UK are good points of access to these. Employers are recognising the importance of preventative action to avoid the harmful effects of stress through new ways of working and proactive employee support. Employee assistance programmes are improving access to talking therapies such as hypnotherapy which help clients better understand and address the contributors to stress.

Contact me if you would like to know more about how hypnotherapy can alleviate the effects of stress and expand your mental health toolkit.

Catherine O’Connell PhD, Solution Focused Hypnotherapist